After presenting my latest beat board to a group of peers and tutor it was suggested that the Librarian is on screen constantly and this is not needed. The key image for the group was the Librarian throwing books over his shoulder (top right below) as this really showed his disdain for them. I could cut the scenes where he is interacting with the books and have instead him fall asleep in his chair and his part is over in the film. The Library then becomes the main focus at the end of the film with the books and stories coming to life, enhancing the irony that the Librarian hates stories and is missing such a spectacle.

Next step: I want to get these ideas into a work in progress animatic as I now feel confident in the first half of my story, but I want to set out timing and get a feel for some foley alongside it. I will then work on the Library scenes at al later stage.

After presenting my beat board and animatic to my peers and tutors the general feedback was that the story idea is liked but it needs definite tweaking, mainly with the ending. If the librarian is depressed at his Fathers death then why not push the boundaries of this and make the ending the end of the characters life too? He could be swallowed by the library, become part of a book or kill himself in his confusion and grief. After having to explain the story I found it difficult to explain the beginning section so will most likely cut this or try something different.

Time for tweaking...

Character:

• A bit one dimensional?
• They need to become a character rather than an avatar for your story.
• Is it a solo performance? It is an interaction between a librarian and the stories he tells.
  
• Is there any speaking? Currently unsure, there might have to be to make the story more clear.
  

Set a pace for your film - a tempo that could be the music that your character/story moves to.


To reconsider:
2D and 3D together? Might be too confusing in a short space of time. Could I keep 3D librarian when telling 2D story? However on reflection the 2D by itself would be too seperate from the 3D librarian. May scrap this idea altogether.

If there is a back story and it is relevant to the story it needs to make its way onto the screen.

To possibly solve an issue of time and whether I could fit the whole story that I want to tell into a short animation, I could set it out as one story of part of a series.

Possibly 5 episodes/chapters that relate to the five stages of grief e.g. denial.

Could delve into a fairytale that relates to the emotional stage that he's at. e.g. Cinderella step mother could be anger or bargaining.

Should look at:

• 'I am Tom Moody' (Encounters best British animated) -Good narrative style. Could do something in my story where a narattor is conflicting or thelling the librarians story, librarian doesn't like this.

• Dave Mckean - Guy who illustrates Neil Gaiman books - illustrated stories. Sets a mood that might be relevant to my piece - shadows.
  
• 'The fantastic flying books of Mr. Morris Lessmore' - magical books CG animation. Not so relevant but extremely cool!
  

My review summary in short: A stop motion film following a librarians torment with the fiction that fuels his grief.

Tutors critique: Add a second character to create interest. Harder to portray emotions with one character? One character can be very still and motionless trying to portray grief just through emotions, especially in a puppet.
I'm not so keen on this idea, a second puppet adds a lot more work especially as I am the only person working on this production. Maybe I should consider a change to the story instead - one where the character is trying to portray less emotion?